body body

i went back to the gym today. it was the first time in almost three months. everyday, i wore that like a scarlet letter. not today. not ever again. my special, little t.word joined the same gym as me, so we are going to support one another on our quest for what we jokingly describe as "hott bods."

i have become so lazy in most aspects of my life, especially when eating and exercising are concerned. i am pretty stoked on the thought of taking initiative and feeling amazing again. i am so glad to be sharing the journey with someone that i appreciate so much. and i like being able to complain about the guy that was running next to me, spraying me with sweat, forcing me to stop running at 2.5 miles. grrrr.

louder than bombs

these things take time, and this is the type of day that is worthy of feeling accomplished, but yet the rainy gloom makes me want to sit around and lament on what could be better. i have a knack for believing that i experience a new level of self awareness with each passing day, yet i still find myself making excuses to avoid things that will ultimately make me really happy.

a list of what makes me happy.
1. running
2. baking
3. organizing/ridding life of everything but necessities.
5. fun friend time
6.making things. all sorts of things. postcards, mixes, meals.

a list of excuses
1. nothing is going to change in this city, it has a permanent haze of boredom around everything, therefore, what is the point of doing anything?

yes, it is one of those days. i know that i am acting like a baby, and feelings of disconnect are all my fault. i think the only cure is making homemade cinnamon rolls. and listening to the smiths.

tea time

i just spent my last night with jax and joen before they head home tomorrow. it is funny how the visit and departure of loved ones always makes me feel the urge to accomplish what i have been putting off. passing time is more apparent and seems way more precious, when your loved ones are leaving your side. unfortunately, i always fall victim to letting the moments i prize most slip through my fingers...i am always caught up in what i have to do, or, have done, and i forget to live in the moment. this is one of the things i want to work on in the new year. i want to have more time for myself, which, will in turn make me more available to all of those that i love. my brain has not stopped all week, and i have been keeping a running list of everything that i am grateful for, or enjoy. i was very happy to spend most of the day with tiffany on her thirtieth birthday. she griped quite a bit, but even her gripes make me happy. i am also so glad to have had my late tea time with jackie and joen. and most importantly, i am thankful for the happiness i sensed in poppy's voice when he told me his physical therapy went well today. i actually can't think of a single moment that i am not thankful for. i look forward to this next day.

yeah yeah yeah

so tonight was great. i had a few of my favorites at my side; two of which that don't live here, and two that are moving. i feel like my life is comprised of trying to hold on to people constantly moving on and visiting with those here on a quick visit.

move

so, after several months of subliminal blogging, i am back. today is one of those days that i am so excited about everything. i have a million and one ideas running through my head, and i can't keep up at all. i am on the make. in more ways than one. yes.see if you can keep up.